We’re reading this for class and our finals will be on this novel so I decided to blog this anyway and get my insights slash opinions sorted out before I answer essays tomorrow (LOL).

Alright, so this novel’s got deep aspects to the point that it drives readers (i.e. me) to confusion. But thankfully, there are some teachers to clue me in at a point or two (or friends who’re willing to share notes from their teacher). Though, for the most part, I’m left to think about what the hell everyone (and everything) means (the meaning of their existence basically exists outside my sphere of comprehension).

While I was reviewing for tomorrow’s exam, I thought about how I found the book. If I liked it. At a point yes - it is to be appreciated. I just don’t usually read these kinds of classics (talks about my taste, yeah?) but the novel did make me reconsider the effect of the Spanish and American colonizations again, and my opinions on both of them. I already do not like the American influences deeply rooted in the country. The Spanish may have brought unpleasant habits and practices, but at this point, the novel illustrates how the influences Americans brought might have actually been worse - at that time.

I can’t really decide so I moved on to what I wanted to believe about the book and its characters.

TOPIC 1: The Macho-Concha relationship. Even though it’s romantic to say, “Love knows no bounds,” and, “Age doesn’t matter,” for society it does and there are bounds. A twenty-year-old having an affair with a woman in her middle-forties disgusts me. Ten-year difference? Fine. Fifteen? O-okay. But more than twice your age? I don’t even want to imagine. And to add to this, Macho marries Concha’s daughter.

I feel aghast at the situation Connie’s in and I want to believe that Macho really got over Concha and learned to love Connie because that would make everything less ugly. However, I still have doubts about this. When Macho proposes to run away with Connie - he wanted to run away because he wasn’t over Concha yet. “Out of sight, out of mind,” the saying goes. Connie knows this. Macho also admitted that he affair he thought was over was only over when he found out the letters were gone. Connie becomes more tragic as she had loved Macho - learned to love him - before discovering his betrayal.

Then, there’s the love between Macho and Concha. Yes, they were in love. As much as I hate to think about it, that fact is crucial in the story because, as it happens, Macho was Concha’s salvation (from the life she had committed herself to in the form of Manolo Vidal) while she was his downfall. And it was in Concha’s refusal to run away with him when he offered that she showed selflessness and a submission to her conscience (which is why, I believe, she told Father Tony that she “never parked [her] conscience outside” - never discarded her conscience. She had to live with the decision she made when she yielded to it - a life without Macho as a lover). In this sacrifice in her part, Concha proves that she did love Macho. She saved him from herself. But it also makes the Macho-Connie situation twisted. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Connie snapped at the knowledge of their affair.

However, Macho did show he had loved Connie, though different from the way he loved Concha. There was also that desperation to find her body when he thought her dead, which might just be from guilt because he knew that he was a part of the force that drove her off that cliff. When he killed Concha, he was ready to die. Maybe he could not live without Connie - or with the guilt of her death in his conscience - but he had to bring Concha with him because she was a part of him, too. This is also part of the complexity of Macho wherein he deviates from the stock character that he had been when he was introduced to the novel. The typical landowner, Don of the hacienda, who whored and drank. Macho had actually lost the hacienda (not the land but its crops, therefore its definition as a hacienda) which made it easier for him to break away from his character stereotype. Getting involved with Concha and Connie just developed his character further.

So many questions, I have no answers.

Personally, I wish Concha had just entered herself in the convent and saved a lot of people from suffering because of her. But. There would be no story.

TOPIC 2: Mr. Monson (Pepe and Tony’s father) as a “dictionary-slash-reference” to the youth. When Concha described him as her “conscience walking around in elegant clothes,” it was because he was the kind of person whom she worshiped, admired, and was the example to them (who were children) at that time. Doctor Monson was a hero, an ideal Filipino of his time: patriotic, brave, learned, etc. He was virtue. He was what the youth should have grown up to be. But with less men like him that served as aspiration and example, the newer generation were not at all “patriotic, brave, etc.” They were “dust and crabs” precisely because around them were “dust and crabs.” They had nothing to base their principles upon. Or principles that would have been the “ideal Filipino.”

TOPIC 3: Connie and Paco’s ending and Connie’s salvation. I asked myself if they really were going to be happy together. I thought, no. It’s just an infatuation and soon, Connie will be forced to face the consequences of what she had done. Tony said that the only way to face the world was to CHOOSE - but he didn’t stop there. There’s also RESPONSIBILITY that goes with it and by running away with Paco, Connie is also taking some part of the blame for whatever will happen to Mary, Paco’s children, and everyone else that would be affected by this decision.

But that was what I thought at first.

Given what had happened to Concha and Macho, it is also possible for a “simple” infatuation to grow into “love” - something far more complicated. I wonder if “love” would blind both or either of them from taking responsibility.

TOPIC 4: Connie’s four “deaths” was symbolized by various elements to resolve Connie’s story. It was only after experiencing those four “deaths” that Connie accepted reality and was able to decide to face the world instead of dying.

First there was water, accompanied by a flashback of her childhood along with the issue about her mother. Connie had to face the fact that her mother could not and did not love her. She wanted the lies — her mother to pretend that she cared for her — but it was something Concha wasn’t willing to give. The water served as a mirror wherein Connie saw her mother in herself. But, with the comparison of Concha and Medusa, Connie was able to defeat this image of her mother, killing the “mother” in her, just as Medusa was defeated by the use of a mirror.

Second was earth which symbolized Connie’s issue with Macho, her husband, whose letters revealed his betrayal. She had to face the fact that he had not really gotten over Concha and that he didn’t marry her because he loved her but because he wanted to get back at and stay with Concha. For Connie, Macho was her happy childhood but she had to bury this past in order to break free from him. She refused to run away with him because it would only mean that he still loved Concha,

Third was air, symbolizing the issues Connie faced about her father. He was a distorted image to her — a politician but an abortionist at the same time. But in this “death of air,” Connie’s father tells her not to simply accept the lies but to rage against them. Connie has to learn to make decisions on her own. That she should “distort” her life — change it and make something out of it.

The last “death” of Connie was symbolized by fire. The priest tells her not to renounce the world and to refuse being subjected to the devil. Her lies would eventually destroy her. But fire was also a symbol of enlightenment. Connie could either decide to become a “witch” or not. After this “death,” we learn of Connie’s decision not to die but to live and face the world. Like a phoenix, she was reborn from the ashes, from the lies, and in the end, made the decision to run away with Paco.

I took notes while studying. If anyone wants to read them, feel free to download the scans (8.9 MB).

Tags: Nick Joaquin

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